Remember when I said that if I could help myself from writing her back? Well, it didn’t work. I was supposed to. But something unexpected happened.

Early this morning, I received an email from my girlfriend. It says there that her family is her priority. And whatever what her family says, she would obliged. That she came here to work and so on.. It was painful that I cried. I know I love her and I don’t want to lose her even if I have this infatuation over Anne.

I had no other choice. I don’t have anybody to talk to since she’s the only person I’ve got whenever I have a problem. And so I post a message to Anne and told her my problem.

It was nice having someone to spit out your problems. And she was there, even not physically with me, but just there writing back. I told her my deep darkest secret. I admitted that I was gay. And she fully accepted that fact since she had had friends like me. For a moment, I was out of my “closet” because I know she’s there. A total stranger telling her secret to another stranger. I thanked her for being there absorbing my rants.

—

And now, I’m here at home posting this blog, with my girlfriend (who slept early) beside me. I also wasn’t able to do my usual morning call with her because of that dreaded email. We barely talked at all this day.

*sigh*

I don’t know now what to do. Should I free her even though it would hurt me? Ayokong ipagsiksikan sarili ko sa kanya. I know how it feels to be rejected.