Last night, I had this feeling to have “kutchie” with my gf. But then, I was rejected. She just hugged me instead. Think about luck!

It felt bad to be rejected. So I tried to think of other things to make me feel better. And then I remember the girl (let’s call her Anne). What if she was the one hugging me tonight? I smiled. That felt better. I was just worried that I might dream about her and say out her name. *yikes*.

—

Today, I’ve got no messages from Anne. It could be a busy day for her just like me. Did I tell you that I’ve been thinking about buying her a gift since her birthday is near? Roses? Cake? But no. I couldn’t do that. They didn’t know. My ex-officemates didn’t know (well, except for one) that I’m gay. I know they would know if I do that especially that I’m a country away from them. *sigh*.

Argh! I’m having second thoughts if I should tell her what I feel. I think I’m falling. But I’m holding it up. I’ve thought of not writing back. We’ll see. Because I’m scared to take the risk. To lose the friendship that has just started. And I don’t know if she’s okay with this set-up.

That’s for now. I just needed to let this out. I’m confused.